Chats

Quick Chats are short takes, usually 5 minutes or less. The best way to think of campfire breaks as commercials breaking up a larger campfire talk. | Our hosts | Our venues | Our topics

Mailbag: Campfire Breaks
Cowboy answers fan mail

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It’s a well known cliché …

That you shouldn’t reinvent the wheel.

Cowboy answers fan mail

But why not? What if a square wheel is better? In this modern day world that everything is turned on its head, there’s really no telling. Same goes with the campfire. Lots of people are going around and saying, “hey, the campfire is fine.” But if that’s the case, why are so many of our “in person” campfire talks not drawing big crowds, or really any people at all? Hint: It has nothing to do with the quality of our talks (in our opinion). That’s where Campfire Park’s very own Cowboy at the Campfire steps in to answer Suzy from Toledo’s letter about that the campfire reboot at Campfire Park is all about. Think “square wheel” only better.

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Factoid: A new analysis of burned antelope bones from caves in Swartkrans, South Africa, confirms that Australopithecus robustus and/or Homo erectus built campfires roughly 1.6 million years ago.

I don’t know much, but I’m inclined to spill whatever I do out at the campfire

— Old Miner

Puddle Problems?
If so, Call Your Uncle

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Have you or a close friend …

Ever stepped in a puddle?

Uncle & Uncle is in Your Corner

And if so, did it cause your shoes (and possibly socks) to get wet, to the point you’re walking around for the rest of the day with that swishy sound in your shoe. And did that water cause physical damage and psychological harm causing you to slip and possibly damage other apparel? If so, Uncle & Uncle is in your corner where we specialize in petty differences and frivolous disputes. Folks, don’t curse the puddle. Call Your Uncle. 1-UNCLE-UNCLE. And remember folks it’s not just one shoe and sock that got wet. They come as a pair. So keep that in mind and Call Your Uncle.

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Factoid: The term puddle dates to the 14 century related Old English and German expressions, such as PudeIn “to splash water.”

It’s a new dawn with Candidate Burt Silver, but only because he stayed up all night to see it

— Burt Silver

Complete Whiff
A new spin on an old phrase

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Did you know …

That the internet cannot smell.

The nose knows

That’s right: the internet and smart phone conquered everything in its sights — toppling towering institutions great and small and causing previous untouchable traditions to go extinct (e.g. “paper” newspaper reading, the yellow pages, books, handwritten letters, and too many hobbies to count), to the point it has us all scratching our heads on how we managed without the internet and smart phone at all — with the exception of one giant category that to this day the Tech Titans cannot touch: The sense of smell!

And thank God. Smell is doing as good as ever and maybe better than ever before thanks to its inability to be digitally recreated or imitated or faked. Until now: Find out from Nose (above) about his plan to capture his fair share of the internet pie.

“Nobody knows you’re a dog on the internet” – Peter Steiner from The New Yorker, 1993

Side note: Do you remember the old Peter Steiner’s cartoon in the New Yorker, which if you can believe it dates back to 1993. Well, the corollary is this: If dogs actually invented the internet, it would be smell (not sight) based. Just a theory.

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Fact: Dogs have nearly 44 times more scent cells than humans.

Try not to overthink a song. Go with what pops in your head, run with it, and don’t stop until you cross the finish line.

— Bobby Angel

Inalienable rights of Boogie

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The Boogie Phone is not only …

Your new freedom machine:

Boogie has a growing list of rights

He’s your best friend, and soon to be only friend … at least that’s his hope. And more than that, as a user of a Boogie Phone you should be aware: Boogie has a growing and ever demanding list of inalienable rights. For one, you should never leave home without Boogie. Never! Period and end of discussion. Oh, and when you’re home. He prefers to be in one of three places: In your hand, in you pocket, or safely stowed on the most prominent place on your counter, and plugged in. (Boogie hates a low charge. More than hate — being properly charged is his right). To find out more about your obligations to Boogie, go to menu -> appearances -> small print -> very small print -> boogie phone agreement where you’ll be prompted to enter your Boogie passcode.

As always, Boogie says thanks in advance.

The campfire is always crackling and visitors are always welcome at Campfire Park

— Cowboy at the Campfire

Buck Talks Water

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When it comes to any topic …

Buck knows a lot.

Buck goes on a water rant

Basically, AM Radio Host Buck Buckner is an expert in too many topics to count, at least in his own mind. Case in point is the subject of water. It doesn’t take Buck long to connect the dots on the vital link between Bigfoot and keeping the water clean. The reason? Bigfoot enjoys drinking his water straight from the stream. Thus, if you want to have any slim hope of catching a glimpse of Bigfoot, perhaps our only hope is keeping our waterways clean, as that’s the only place he drinks. Bucks greatest dream: To have a sit down interview with Bigfoot where at the table he’d serve him up with fresh glass of water scooped straight from the stream. Here’s the dreaming!

Well howdy folks, and I’m completely freaked out. And you know why. The fringe middle. The silent majority. Why are they so quiet?

— Buck Buckner

Major Water Speech

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When is it a good time …

To talk about water?

Burt’s water speech

Answer: Probably at any point during a campaign, or after it for that matter, too. To quote a close friend, water will always be on humanity’s Top 3 priority list. Family, peace, water. Maybe not in that order. In this epic speech, in true Burt fashion the candidate lays bare his passion for the substance at the same time he isn’t going to reveal his hand as to what may or may not be in his cup when he’s playing high stakes poker in the smokey boiler room at night. Why? If Burt understands anything in life, it’s how to play a hand, be it weak or strong. In his view, him revealing whether he’s drinking water or something else is akin to the most dreaded of card table (and/or negotiation) faux paus — a tell.

So you’ll just have to trust Burt when in comes to the water, or whatever’s he drinking.

Remember the Rule of the Ninja: Never fear, never doubt, and never over think.

— Ranger Rudi

Outside the Bunker
And why we hit the road

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What’s the best way …

To reach your audience?

Buck hits the road

For AM Radio Host “In The Bunker” with Buck Buckner, the usually means hunkering down in the place he knows best, and where he can broadcast has thoughts far and wide — in the safety and sanctity of his bunker. As for who’s actually listening, even if it’s only one person (and that one person is Buck), it’s worth the cause. Or do you sometimes have to venture outside the comfort zone to reach new crowds? Buck finds himself oddly reenergized as he hits the road.

Buck Buckner is an AM Radio host at Campfire Park.

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